The Terrible Relations of an Old Man

After my time on this planet, I have had more relationships than the average person. Actually, I may be generous when I use the word “relationship”. There have been flings, one-night stands, prostitutes, girlfriends, side chicks, other nigga’s wives, and other interactions that I do not even have a name for. But, each relationship has shaped my views on women and what I expect from them, nothing. This is not to say that I treat women like shit, that is really not in my nature. In all actuality I believe I have treated every woman I have been in a relationship with better than they deserved to be treated. And like most people in life, a woman who is treated better than she deserves eventually believes she is entitled to that treatment. So, me being who I am, will often leave these women once their entitled views of themselves begin to outweigh their true value.  And I do not mean having a heartfelt discussion with these women, I go ghost. Because I feel that if I have treated a woman better than she has ever been treated, on top of treating her better than she deserves, I have no reason to explain to her why I no longer want to deal with her at all. 

I have never been in love. In my younger days I would lie to women and tell them I love them because at that age emotional attachment made them throw their morals out the window. If telling a woman I loved her could get my dick sucked at random times, I was down for the lie. The “love” lie stopped when I was in college. I was in a relationship with a young lady and she told me she could not suck my dick because she was saving her mouth for the man she would love and marry. At the foolish age of 20 I told her I loved her. She eventually hit me with a car.  From that point on I used the insinuation of love with women. I would never overtly tell them I loved them, but would do things to make them think the emotion existed. I learned not to play with a woman’s heart at that moment, mostly because I then realized that relationships exist because of only three reasons; emotional attachment, sex, or money. Emotional attachment is too irrational and unpredictable. A person who lets their emotions guide their actions scares the shit out of me. But, sex and money, so long as consistent, will properly guide a relationship. When I was younger, I had no choice but to use emotional attachment and sex for relationships, because I was a broke ass nigga. But When I got older, I made a conscious decision to allow sex and money control my interactions with women. When I’m ready to stop fucking a woman, I stop. When I’m ready to stop giving a woman money, I stop. And although harsh, these interactions with women are easier, leading to less stress in other aspects of my life.

Now, when I say less stress, I do not mean no stress. To me a relationship is like an experiment that you can only control so many variables of. And what I learn from one relationship, or interaction, I use in my next experiment. Now this may seem like a sociopathic trait to some people, I never tell women that I want anything more from them than sex. Therefore, their assumptions of us eventually having more is their own fault. And these assumptions have led to my terrible relations.